Denying Passage

Denial – it’s not just a river in Egypt. Okay, so it’s an old joke but one that’s appropriate for this column. For about a year ago I entered the stage that all women go through, but because One: I don’t like to acknowledge my age and Two: I wasn’t ever given any real information about this stage of life from my mother or female elders; I was basically clueless. What am I talking about? The secret that no one really tells you about or even talks about: menopause.

This stage starts usually in the early fifties for a woman, although years before symptoms can occur. Symptoms listed on the web are vague but include weight gain, hot flashes, and depression among many others. So when certain symptoms started to show up in my life that surrounded mood swings and sudden bouts of weakness, I chalked it up to other aspects of my life.

It wasn’t until I went through a whole battery of medical tests and racked up several good sized medical bills – and yes that is with insurance – that I came to the happy diagnosis myself – it was menopause that was causing most of my problems!

I have to thank several of my female friends who have passed through this passage of life already and who help clue me in. But this passage is a very complex and unique process—I don’t have the same symptoms as any other woman – although we may be in the same vicinity of the ball park. Notice I said vicinity of the park not even in the park! This is what makes this stage and all of its many symptoms so difficult to diagnose.

And I went to several doctors – did I mention medical bills-- with no real results. But I wasn’t going to the right doctor – which is a gynecologist. Who will be my next stop on this roller coaster ride. I don’t particularly like roller coasters – they make me nauseas. Another possible symptom by the way. Notice I said possible – you may have some, all or none! Geez!

So here’s a clue for you --- if you’re heading towards or at the age of fifty or fifty plus – make sure you consult with your gynecologist. I prefer a female one because I am convinced a man cannot have a clue about all that happens to us during this time. Also head to the library or bookstore and check out books on menopause. A few good ones include ones by Christiane Northup, MD and Gail Sheehy, author of "The Silent Passage."

‘Cause your girlfriends will regale you with their own personal tales of woe, but their woe may not be your woe. And as far as the Internet is concerned – forget it. Their listed symptoms are way too general to figure out what is truly happening to you.

Don’t be a river in Egypt – it’s going to happen sooner or later and with knowledge comes preparation and strength. And the good news is –or so I’ve heard – once it’s over – you feel great – again! I’ll let you know when I get there – I’m still in the middle of river! But at least now I know which direction to swim!