Why Do We Self-Sabatoge Ourselves?

Way back in July of ’06, I started to write a weekly blog about everyday activities, my thoughts, ramblings and also some insights from my various guides, angels, etc. I enjoy writing these blogs and I received a variety of wonderful praise for the insights that they lent themselves to. Then my angels said to me one day, after I finished a nice blog, “Finish six more of these and you could almost have a book.”

Well, that stopped me dead in my tracks. A book! Wait a second, I’m not writing a book here—I’m just managing to get some thoughts out into cyberspace. I’m not ready for a book!

So I stopped writing the blog.

But the truth was – I did want to write a book and my angels knew it. And writing about the spiritual subjects that I write about, well, it would be a decent –okay—good book. Heck, I might even sell a few copies.

But I stopped writing.

I enjoyed writing. People enjoyed my writing and I enjoyed hearing that they enjoyed my writing. Yet I stop writing.

Why? I asked myself. And then I began to think about other types of projects I started and then stopped.

We’ve all had them—that unfinished knitted blanket, the unfinished novel, the unfinished painting, the unfinished paint job in the kitchen, the unfinished fill-in-the-blank.

Are we were chronic unfinishers? Dabblers who simply want to experiment for a time and then go on to another project? Did we just get bored with the project? Was it too frustrating for us? Or was there something else going on here?

Why do we self-sabotage our own success?

For the finish of a project does show that we can be successful. Do we not want to be successful?

People fear many things – the dark, ghosts, the bill-collector, monsters, mother-in-laws, the IRS. But they also fear failure and more often than not, they also fear success.

Why do we fear success? This was the thought that I had – for I was convinced that it wasn’t failure I was afraid of. But the funny thing is – success and failure are often the two sides of the same coin—that is, they are often more related to our underlying feelings than sometimes we care to admit.

For me, I think it comes down to some form of responsibility – if I am successful – then I am responsible for my creation. And in the form of a book – well, what good does a book’s knowledge do, if you don’t share it with the world?

I’m not afraid of criticism – I’ve had my share of that; but rather if my book is published and is successful, then I might have to come up with more successful material – and often times it was hard enough just getting through the first project, much less be expected to complete more.

But that is the risk of success. Success is risky – people will expect more of you and you will expect more of yourself – the next time around.

Can this be scary? Yes. But not when you have a great support team around you. And that includes your angels and guides. Plus your friends. And your family – if they are in alignment with your project. And if its blanket you finished knitting – they probably would enjoy it’s warmth, if not the color or design.

For those bigger projects – stop blaming yourself if you’re not ready to finish them. If you don’t want to own the success, that’s OK. Either stop the project or if needed – get someone else to finish for you. You can consider yourself successful then—great leaders know when it’s time to delegate tasks to others.

For me—I’ve started to write again. I enjoy it; people enjoy it. And if a book comes out of it—well, maybe I’ll make a buck or two.

I choose success and the risk to takes to be a success. How about you?